Music for the Heart

And you left me

Standing on a corner crying,

Feeling like a fool for trying

I don't even remember

Why I'm wasting all these tears on you

I wish I could erase our memory

Cause you didn't give a dang about me

Oh, finally I'm through

Wasting all these tears on you

These tears on you

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It's you
Oh, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things

Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey all along
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

Words.

“This time I wouldn't forget him, because I couldn't ever forgive him - for breaking my heart twice.”  



I've met someone else. Someone funny and great. He's been sympathetic and caring and funny.
We'll call him Bob. (That's not his real name.)

I sort of met him two months ago, when I started Cross Country.

I've never heard him talk before; he's really quiet.

The other day, a friend added me to the group chat on Facebook, and...

Everything I'd thought to be true about him, is a complete lie.
He's loud and funny on Facebook.
I have a crush on him, on Facebook.

Then, a new guy. A soccer player, started flirting with me on Facebook. On the group chat.
A couple days later, the soccer player private messaged me and asked if I liked him.
I said, "We just met. On chat."
He said, "I know, but someone told me to ask you if you liked me."

I have this horrid feeling that it was Bob.
That he won't like me anymore, because of the soccer player and my not-really flirting.
Oh, how your words can affect everything.
Oh how words can ruin everything.
Please, remember your words.
Brianna.

I get it.

More than beautiful.

You are beautiful+gorgeous+pretty= You!

“If you are destined to become a writer, you can't help it. If you can help it, you aren't destined to become a writer. The frustrations and disappointments, not even to mention the unspeakable loneliness, are too unbearable for anyone who doesn't have a deep sense of being unable to avoid writing.”
― Donald Harington

I've been reading quotes about writing, and almost all of them mention being lonely, and I think I finally know what they mean.

In order to be a writer, you must be able to ignore real life to write about fake life.

You must have the talent to take your real life experiences and turn them into something someone will get joy, tears or inspiration out of reading it.

I get it.

I am a writer.

He Chose.

He chose.

He chose to turn away from my pleading; to remove me from his existence on this Earth.

He chose.

He chose to love something other than me and my mess; He chose... but he didn't choose me.

The very essence of my being was put into loving him.

As it shouldn't have been.

Let. It. Go.

Let it go.

Just let it go.

Letting go.

 

I read a quote recently, that went like this:

 

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

 

Let it go.

Just let it go.

Letting go.

 

The only person I have control over, is myself.

The only person he has control over, is himself.

 

So, why, why, why, do we try to control each other?

 

It ended in disaster last time; so why do we try it again?

 

We are human.

 

Gahhh.

Why does everyone have to be human?

It messes everything up.

 

I have officially let go of him.

I still care for him, but I've realized I never had control over him, nor will I ever have control over him.

 

So.

If he is reading this:

Secret Message down below.

 

 

 

 

 

I liked you, not loved you.

Like and love are two different things.

Don't try to say that you loved me; you didn't.

I'll share with you a little quote, you-know-who told me after it happened.

'She wanted something real, He just wanted fun.

Boys and Mascara always run.

Sweetie, some guys are just players, and that's a known fact.

So go fix your make-up and play them right back.'

 

I'm not saying I play guys now, I just liked the little poem.

Thanks

(xoxoxo)

Brianna

 



I'm a...

'I'm a hypocrite.'

'I'm a jerk.'

'I'm a murderer.'

'I'm an adulteress.'

'I'm a sinner.'

'I'm... not perfect.'

 

No, I'm not perfect.

In fact, no one is perfect, except God.

You see, before you decide you want to be regular visitor of my blog, you should know this:

 

 

I'm a Christian.

and

I love Jesus.

 

Some people would say those are the same thing, but I beg to differ.

Being a Christian doesn't necessarily mean you love Jesus, it just means you've accepted him into your heart.

Which is a big deal, and a good thing!

You should accept Jesus into your heart!

 

But...

 

You see, when you start a job, you usually want to finish it, right?

 

Just accepting Jesus, isn't completely following him.
Once you're with him, you gotta follow him with your whole heart.
You see, we, the Christians, represent Jesus to non-believers.
We need to be like Jesus.

Jesus is God.
God is love.
We need to love.
Love with our whole heart.
Love everybody.
Treat people the way you would treat yourself, or someone you love.
You can talk to God too...
So many nights, I would cry.
Cry because I thought my parents didn't love me, or that now that they had five other attention-grabbers, all they needed me for was to babysit.

I cry a lot.
Probably once a week at the least.
But I also cry out to God.
I honestly don't think I'd be here right now if I didn't have Jesus all those nights.
All these nights.
You see, I love my parents to an extent.
But my love for Jesus has no extent.
Jesus loves me so much, even more than anyone in the world.
Just thinking about that alone strikes a key in my heart.
He loves.
Me.
You.
Everyone.

And we should do the same.

This song represents everything you go through in life;
Everyone has a wound to be healed.
There really is beauty here!
There really is meaning here!


"Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take"


If this struck a note in your heart; or you just want to share your story with me, email me at Briannagarman15@gmail.com


Be Vulnerable.

 

"“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Be vulnerable.

Or be heartless.